How to Talk to Family and Friends About Your Surrogacy Journey

Embarking on a surrogacy journey is a life-changing experience, filled with excitement, anticipation, and at times, challenging conversations. While surrogacy is becoming more widely understood, misconceptions still exist, and discussing your journey with family and friends can feel overwhelming. Whether you’re an intended parent or a surrogate, having open and honest discussions can help educate, build support, and strengthen relationships.

Addressing Common Misconceptions About Surrogacy

Before talking to loved ones, it’s important to be aware of common myths and misunderstandings surrounding surrogacy. Here are some of the most frequent misconceptions:

1. "The Surrogate is the Baby’s Mother."

One of the biggest misconceptions is that the surrogate has a biological connection to the baby. In gestational surrogacy, the most common type, the surrogate carries an embryo created using the intended parents' or donors' genetic material. She is not genetically related to the baby, and her role is to provide a nurturing environment for the child until birth.

2. "Surrogacy is Just a Business Transaction."

While there are financial aspects involved in surrogacy, the journey is deeply emotional and built on trust, compassion, and mutual respect. Surrogates are generous individuals who genuinely want to help others experience the joy of parenthood. Intended parents also go through a significant emotional journey, often after facing infertility or other medical challenges.

Surrogate Chloe posing with her cute baby bump! She carried for the “S” Family in 2024.

3. "Why Not Just Adopt Instead?"

While adoption is a beautiful option for growing a family, it is not the right choice for everyone. Some intended parents have remaining embryos from previous fertility treatments, while others wish to have a genetic connection to their child. Surrogacy provides an opportunity for intended parents to experience pregnancy milestones and be involved throughout the process.

4. "The Surrogate Might Want to Keep the Baby."

This is a common fear but a rare occurrence. Surrogates undergo extensive screening, including psychological evaluations, to ensure they are emotionally prepared for the journey. Additionally, legal agreements are established before the process begins to clearly outline all expectations and responsibilities. To be a surrogate, you should be finished building your own family and doing this in an effort to help grow another family.

Chloe + the “S” Family as well as Dr Hearn + a labor and a wonderful delivery nurse.

How to Handle Tough Conversations

Talking about surrogacy with family and friends may bring up unexpected emotions or concerns. Here’s how to navigate these conversations with confidence and clarity:

1. Be Prepared with Facts

Before discussing surrogacy, take time to educate yourself about the process. The more knowledgeable you are, the easier it will be to address concerns and correct misinformation.

2. Share Your Personal Reasons

Explaining your motivations can help loved ones understand why surrogacy is the right choice for you. Whether you are an intended parent longing to grow your family or a surrogate who wants to give the gift of life, your personal story can be powerful and enlightening.

3. Set Boundaries

Not everyone will be immediately supportive or understanding. It’s okay to set boundaries if certain conversations become negative or intrusive. Let your loved ones know that their support is appreciated, but ultimately, this is your journey and your decision.

4. Offer Educational Resources

Sometimes, people need time to process new information. Sharing articles, books, or websites about surrogacy can help them learn at their own pace and become more supportive over time.

5. Surround Yourself with Support

Not everyone will understand or agree with your choice, and that’s okay. Seek support from those who do—whether it’s from online surrogacy communities, support groups, or friends who have gone through similar experiences.

Final Thoughts

Talking about surrogacy with family and friends can be both rewarding and challenging. By addressing misconceptions with facts, sharing your personal reasons, and setting healthy boundaries, you can create meaningful conversations that foster understanding and support. Remember, this journey is unique to you, and those who truly care will respect your decision and celebrate the incredible path you are on.

At Await Surrogacy, we are here to support you every step of the way. Whether you're an intended parent or a surrogate, we provide guidance, education, and a compassionate community to help you navigate this incredible experience. If you have questions or need resources, don’t hesitate to reach out to us.

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